In the past two weeks, I’ve found that it’s possible I don’t lack the “Mom gene” after all. I’ve been accused of this before, perhaps a few times. I’m not sure exactly how I reacted, but on the inside it stung a little.
I think when you’re a woman, being accused of not possessing the Mom gene is akin to being told that you’re mean, rude, masculine, rough around the edges, the type of person who kills houseplants and shouldn’t be trusted with puppies. Well, they’re correct about the houseplants. (Jury’s still out on that cactus I’m attempting to grow, but pretty much all other plants come to my house to die. Let’s be honest.) Dogs, on the other hand, I excel at.
It’s also like hearing, “You just LOVE to be the CENTER of ATTENTION!” It takes you by surprise, (unless of course it’s true), and you start to question yourself. I remember being told that by bitter, jealous, resentful people. (At the time, I didn’t realize they were bitter, jealous and resentful, but now I do.) When I really thought about it, I looked around and saw that I wasn’t doing a single thing to get any attention at all. I was evidently just one of those people who people just liked paying attention to. I also learned pretty quickly that the attention is equal parts positive and negative depending on where it comes from.
I’ll tell you the truth. I did theater from an early age, but it was because I could sing, not because I wanted the attention. I just wanted an outlet for my talent. The same thing for when I perform with various musical projects. For a few years in fact, I took a combination of two different stage fright medications just to be able to look like I wasn’t scared to death onstage. Some people hide behind instruments. Some behind costumes or hair. As a lead singer, you’re exposed out there. It’s a tad intimidating.
But getting back to my point… I’ve been blessed to have these two fantastic new teenagers in my life. Although it was a little sooner than we’d planned, now I’m excited to make all new plans. I’m excited to clean out my spare room. I’m excited to buy new furniture. I even have emergency pizza rolls in my freezer.
Side Note: My mom never kept pizza rolls around because there were only a few things she felt confident in reheating for my friends and I. Pizza rolls never came across her radar. I actually forgot about them this weekend or I would have cooked them already… and the emergency chocolate chip cookies as well.
Not that pizza rolls define motherhood excellence, but television sure made it appear so. And you know, just like the internet, everything you see on TV is true, right?
I’m enjoying learning what they like to do, what they like to eat, what they like in general. And I feel a genuine responsibility to fill in the gaps where they’ve been lacking. They need dental and doctor visits scheduled, clothing, shoes, real bra sizing done by a professional (no guess work), home cooked meals, skincare, stability… There are so many things that need to be done. I feel like I’m playing catch-up, but it’s only 2-weeks in. I know it’s only the beginning and that there will be time. I’m just an overachiever.
Which is perhaps why some of my friends say I lacked the Mom gene.
Eat thy words friends. Eat thy words. 😉
Yesterday we took them to see a Beagle Wedding. Yes, I typed that correctly. Two dogs got married… of the Beagle persuasion. It was adorable! And I’m not sure they’d smiled so big the entire weekend. Okay, there were multiple times, but they definitely share my love of dogs. Ronnie bought us all tee-shirts a while ago that say “Can I Pet Your Dog?” They wore theirs, but I wasn’t sure mine still fit. Gimme a few months and I’ll post a pic of all 3 of us in them.
The Journal Project 