It’s Story Time Boys & Girls

I’m going to tell you a story about my absolute WORST Valentine’s Day EVER…

At the time SATC (Sex and the City) was the HOT show. I honestly can’t remember what year it was, but I do remember that I hung out mostly with Jenny and Nik at Breakfast Club shows on the weekends. And if we didn’t go out every night of the week, Tara would throw shade behind our backs. Now that I’m not in my twenties, this seems completely ridiculous, but back then, we truly cared what everyone thought of us… perhaps a little too much.

We decided to throw a HUGE SATC-themed party at my house. We had a banner and invitations professionally printed, we divided up responsibilities between the 4 of us, we had rules and a guest list… We were really going to do this right. I think I even had a bartender friend mixing drinks for us. The night of the party arrived. We were the 4 hosts (Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha) and everything was going swimmingly. We had people outside, we had people inside, there were basically people everywhere and it was a freezing cold January night. Everyone was having a great time. We had so many drinks spilled on the carpet and it was so sticky by the end of the night that a guest sent his cleaning crew over the next day to professionally clean it.

There was a guy there who I had been seeing for a little while. I didn’t want to jinx it, so I didn’t tell any of my girlfriends. He stayed over the night of the party. After that, I didn’t hear from him. Tara, who loved to stir up trouble, saw that I was visibly upset one night when we were out to dinner and pulled the information out of me. “Oh, he’s been seeing Jenny. I’m pretty sure his car is still parked in front of her house. It’s been there for days,” she said. And of course,  she drove me over there straightaway so I could see for myself.

At the time I was working on a 4-person musical called “The Taffetas.” Since there were only four of us onstage the entire time, the rehearsal schedule didn’t allow much time for much else, so I didn’t get hardly any time to see anyone.

When the guy texted me all apologetic and full of excuses, we exchanged a few pleasantries  and I pretended not to know what was going on. He asked if he could call me. Immediately his voice was strange. He asked me if I’d seen a doctor. He said he’d been diagnosed with Chlamydia and that I needed to see my doctor. I made an appointment as soon as we hung up.

My doctor, being proactive, went ahead and prescribed me the medicine that would cure me of this ailment and told me to go ahead and start taking it before the results came back just to be sure, because you can never be too safe. I called him back and told him what happened. He asked if I could give him my medicine. I think I was too naive to have called him out on his bullshit right then, or maybe I just needed more evidence, but I was definitely shocked that he asked and  wondered why his doctor hadn’t prescribed him any. It didn’t make sense, but I was too numb to care at that point. I remember zero words after that.

I went to rehearsal after my doctor visit and the phone call. I’d managed to somehow keep it together through all of that. When we were on break, I collapsed into a sobbing mess backstage. My friend Melissa picked me up. It was Melissa and her keen sense for BS who first sensed what was really going on.

I went through Valentine’s Day worried, alone, betrayed… I’m not really sure I have enough negative adjectives to adequately describe what was going on here, but I’m certain you get the picture. No one called. I think I got a card from Mom & Dad. That was the extent of my Valentine cheer. There I sat on my sofa thinking that this bozo who was currently screwing my best friend had given me an ST_… wait a minute…

The next day my doctor called. She had run a complete panel on every STD she could think of because after hearing my story, she didn’t trust the guy. Everything was negative. NEGATIVE.

I immediately called him, elated at the news. “Guess what?!? My results are negative!” Instead of being happy, he seemed angry. ANGRY? I don’t fully remember all that was said, but I remember being shocked at his response and how short he was with me. It occurred to me then that if this was real, he would be happy that I was okay and perhaps might have been worried about me and checked up on me while I had been awaiting the results. But no, he really only cared about himself! And the more we spoke, the more I realized that HE WAS LYING!

He made the whole thing up so that I would look like the bad guy and he could continue on unencumbered with Jenny. He just wanted me out of his way. He didn’t care if he tarnished my reputation in the process. What A Dick.

I told Jenny. I probably should have taken some time to step back and process more fully what had transpired, but at the time, I just felt like she should know. She didn’t take sides, but she didn’t really seem to grasp that what he did was as wrong as I thought it was either. They continued to see each other and eventually got engaged. During this time, I didn’t see her at all. When I think back on it, that relationship actually seems short-lived, Thank Goodness. I also remember her telling me what a big mistake it was.
And you know?
I can relate.


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