White Lies & Red Flags

Last night I had dinner with an old friend. We hadn’t seen each other since the early 90’s, so I was surprised at everything he recalled. We talked for over 2 hours. I told him what was going on with me. He told me what was going on with him. He owns a company now and will soon be travelling to China for work. I feel as if I should have been doing more with my life these past few years.

It always brings up a red flag or several when a guy I’ve known for a long time who married someone else pops up out of the clear blue and suddenly needs to see me. Luckily, this guy is a real sweetheart and simply missed his friend. He apologized for how he’d handled things in the past (which I wasn’t even aware needed an apology) and said something that really resonated with me. He told me that I was special. Do I already know this? Sure, to an extent, but it’s so easy to forget. And it speaks volumes when someone you haven’t seen in 20+ years remembers you with such fondness. It’s nice to know when you have that effect on someone.

But speaking of red flags… I’m reminded of a time when a guy I’d been in Youth Council with in high school sought me out to tell me he was getting divorced. I was in Esthetician School and he booked a facial service just so he could get a moment alone with me. (At the time, I was working full-time AND going to school full-time, so I had zero free time. Even my friends booked services so that they could have some time with me. To this day, they may not know how much that was appreciated.)

Months later, after I’d graduated and had a few months to exhale, I started seeing someone who lived in another state. This went really well until it didn’t. The last week of that relationship, I’d caught a terrible cold and the person who had sought me out previously, popped up and told me he was going to cook me dinner. It was very sweet and afterwords, despite the cold, boyfriend and all, he leaned in to kiss me. I told him I really needed to get things settled with the previous relationship before anything were to happen. So I did.

After the relationship ended and I let the guy know that I was free & clear a few days passed, then I received a phone call. He basically told me that he was in love with his Dental Hygienist, who had a boyfriend, so he was basically just spending time with me until she was free. I’m not sure why he thought I’d be okay with that. I wasn’t. I never saw him again.

It’s no wonder I see so many red flags so often.


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